You were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.1 Peter 1:18b-19
I Have Some Bad News
When I as eleven years old my grandmother (who raised me and who I call mom) brought me into my room for a chat about my dad. Even at the young age of eleven I had a limited but detailed cache of memories about my father, and somehow I knew that I wasn't in for good news. "Your dad is sick," mom said, "he's sick with a disease that has no cure."
"You don't have to finish mom," I replied, "I know what it is."
I don't remember how I knew, I'm not sure it matters really. My mom went on to tell me that according to the doctors, my dad would have about 6-10 months to live and that he was in the hospital. I can distinctly remember tuning her out after that as anger washed over my insides. I couldn't help but think that for some reason this was all a result of some bad decision, some enormously selfish misstep on his part, and in less than a year I'd be without an already absent father.
In tears I muttered, "I never want to be like him. . .ever."
God was incredibly gracious to my dad; he is still here, but from age eleven on, in many ways, that was my goal--to not be like my father. Even in my love for him I made pointed attempts to avoid following in his footsteps. This was a heavy load to bare. Mostly because it's near impossible to avoid being like anyone you are hardly ever around. In many ways you have to know what someone is like in order to make an effort to do the opposite of what they do. Not to mention the fact that he was and is my own flesh and blood. In effect, I was running from a ghost. From age eleven into my very late teens I carried this impossible burden. Because of this, in the later years, for most of the time I ran on three emotions--anger, frustration and depression. As hard as I tried not to, I left traces of irresponsibility, apathy, selfishness, and faithlessness everywhere I went--I was my father's son. My motivations were pitifully misguided. Clearly, I was not created to live like this.
We Are Created to Be
Sadly, because of the fall, the stories of our lives are broken, our fathers and mothers can let us down, our expectations and needs for love can go unmet, and our lives can be filled with mountainous obstacles too big for any of us to overcome on our own. At the age of eleven, my zealous reaction to my broken story was to be the opposite of the person who'd hurt me. As strange as it may sound, my goal was to live in reverse and hope that my story would end up the way I wanted. Our hearts were not created to live out of these kinds of motivations. Living in reverse only results in us skidding our wheels, emotionally taxed, and frustrated that we simply can't get it right.
In the very beginning of God's story He calls man to action, and showers him with generosity, grace and good gifts, (Gen 2:8-16; 18-22). Even in his commands of omission (Gen 2:17) He doesn't leave his creation without an alternative call to commission that is honoring to Him and good for man himself (Gen 2:16). All throughout Christ's life He calls His followers to lives of being different things; salt, light, branches on a vine, proclaimers of His Gospel, lovers, peacemakers, and carriers of a cross. In Paul's epistle to the Romans, he urges believers to: abhor what is evil, and hold fast to what is good, love one another, be constant in prayer, bless those who persecute us, and overcome evil with good (Rom 12:9-21) Clearly, we are not created to live in reverse, but to live onward and into eternity. While we are called to "be" all of these things we are continually reminded of one thing--As hard as we try, we are our father's sons. It's inevitable.
"None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; on one seeks for God. There is no fear of God before their eyes."Romans 3:10,11,18
In my endeavor to not be like my absentee father, I'd missed all of the signs that I was more like him than I'd imagined. Consequently I'd missed out on the freedom that comes from knowing you are created to be a recipient of a heavenly Father's forgiveness and grace for all of the ways you are like your parents. Even more so, I'd failed to realize that there is only one perfect Son, who had a perfect relationship with His Father, and who was perfectly like Him in every way. At the end of His life He was cut off, and abandoned by His Father at the cross, but on the third day He defeated death and the grave. All of this so that the fatherless and those living to not walk in their earthly fathers footsteps could be redeemed of their burdens, and called to follow a good, and perfect parent and live like His Son.
The truth is that the perfect story of a Father and His Son is the answer and remedy to all of those whose stories are fractured and in need of rescuing.
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