If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, para. 2, p.45)This is a quote that shot me directly in the heart and brain, in the latter parts of my freshman year in college. Lewis' quote literally came to life when the once palatable tastes of angry conscious hip-hop, the therapeutic company of friends, lust, disconcerting and ambiguous poetry and my veneer of Christianity had lost their tang.
I can remember it like it was yesterday: I was walking across the street from my dormitory to a 10:00 am class listening to Mos def's "Black on Both Sides"; hat on, hoodie up, head phones in the proper position. I don't remember what song I was listening to but I do remember my reaction as crossed the middle of Bern Street: "This isn't working anymore. . .as matter of fact. . .there's nothing here. He's saying absolutely nothing at all. Nothing that moves me, nothing that makes me say 'hmmm...', nothing that excites me or amazes me. It's doing nothing for me. I am disenchanted."
It was depressing actually. Something I had put so much stock into for happiness and "purpose" in life had instantaneously become boring and monotonous, right there in the middle of Bern St. (Reading, PA). I found in myself a desire that could no longer be satisfied by (you decide).
This sent my on a downward spiral of depression, melancholy and bitterness. By grace (and without my permission) the spiral hit a board, called the Cross of Christ and the Sovereign Grace of God, and I bounced upward toward that which can truly satisfy.
To quote a brother, "ahhhhhhhhhhh! What a relief it is to be in Jesus!
The LORD sets the prisoners free;
the LORD opens the eyes of the blind.
The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down;
the LORD loves the righteous. (Ps 146:8)
