By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us. (1 John 3:19-24)
There are days when my convictions feel like massive weights covering my chest; or like an annoying tapping sound that I can't shake. It interrupts my meals, my quiet time, my drive to work, that small window of time that dwindles away just before I drift off to sleep at night, and it's there to greet me when I wake up in the morning. These are bitter sweet times for me. Bitter because my heart condemns me and the taste of sin is horrible, but sweet because that weight I have is not a bad thing. It is a gift.
The gift is two fold:
1) Conviction is a gift from God-it pushes me (us) to the cross. For me (the believer), there is no other place to go. Anywhere else just adds to my already paining frustration. Conviction is there to remind of my condition and my need for Jesus and His atoning work at the cross. If I respond to my convictions they force me to see The Father's grace in His Son Christ. My sins absolved! Baffling (Ez 16:62-63). Biblical conviction shows me that God is still present and working in my life (Heb 12:6). So, while I am dour, I am thankful and glad.
2) A clean conscience gives me boldness before God when I pray and open my Bible. I look at my conscience like a window; if I don't get it clean then there are times when I'm not able to read, pray or really enjoy fellowship. Even when my wrong is "minor" or if I'm uncertain as to whether or not I've sinned at all (Ps 19:12-14;Jer 17:9) I have to get it clean. Sometimes it can seem ridiculous to others why I'd have to get something like that off of my chest but, I have to (Ps 41:4; 51:4). My sleep depends on it.
