Finishing "The Doctrine of Repentance" by Thomas Watson

This book is extremely challenging. I know because I've been trudging through it. There are books I read and there are books that tend to read me. The Bible is the foremost scrutinizing book; this is obvious. Then there are the gems that are inspired by Scripture--penned by men who've been "pierced by the Word" and seem to be so sick with their own convictions that they heave them out onto paper. These are the books that bless me by bringing me low, turning my gaze towards Jesus and rattle my heart to sing songs to Him because of His grace and unmerited favor towards me, a sinner. "The Doctrine of Repentance" is a book that has given me a fresh and acutely painful look at myself and caused me to see in a deeper way, that repentance is a gift of God's grace. It's something that should be sought after and something that should be desired by me and all of God's church. Climbing the mountain of repentance is a continuous trek; it's part of our pilgrimage . Yes, this grace of Grace can sometimes hurt but it's necessary and well worth it in light of the joy that is set before us. Praise God for brothers like Thomas Watson and others who've been preserved by God's grace to write books that give glory to God and push His church towards the Throne.

Soli Deo Gloria

encouragement from another giant predecessor

Prayed over a part of the eighth of Romans in a way of paraphrase with some readiness. I greatly fail in the duty of meditation and am forced to use some artifice with myself to do it at all; thus sometimes I turn them into a prayer form, sometimes I suppose myself in miaginary conversation, sometimes that I am called upon to speak to a point.

Without something of this sort I am not able to engage myself to attend with any fixedness of thought and with it, alas! how seldom, I would remember to pray for grace and direction in this matter that my delight may be in the Law of God to meditate therein day and night. (John Newton, 91)

God's Sovereign Song

I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. (Jeremiah 29:10-14)

When I read this passage yesterday (and I've read it dozens of times prior) I was delighted to see God's sovereignty all over the prophet Jeremiah's words. It made me think--When you see God's sovereignty all over your life, it sets you free.

He is the Author and Finisher of my life, and it is not a series of random events that I am forever at the mercy of. God is fully involved in all of them. From the loss of fortunes (Jer 29:14), walking through the valley of the shadow of death (Ps 23:4), experiencing seasons of great joy, to being rescued from despair. God is involved in all the events of my life. Even the ones I deem insignificant, God is active in all of them. He is sovereign! That is comforting to me--to know that my life is not part of a score that's directed by an arbitrary conductor. That would be a horrible song, would it not? Instead, God has orchestrated my life (and everyone else's) according to His perfect will and if His story and plan were put to music; well it would be a song of infinite grandeur and perfect sound. It would be a perfect song. So, if you are reading this and you are the side of God that is covered by the blood of His Son, take comfort in the fact that God is sovereign in your life and that all things work together for good, for His kids (Rom 8:28). 

Romanticized Depression?

Martin Luther struggled with depression. Spurgeon struggled with depression; Edwards, Calvin, Bunyan, all great men of the Faith and all of them struggled with depression.

Thinking of myself and others--particularly of the Reformed persuasion--who are greatly encouraged and challenged by the afore mentioned men I'm faced with a question; Out of an admiration for their work and lives, has depression been romanticized in the Christian life?

I know many friends who say, "Depression is something I struggle with.", "Depression is something I battle with?", "I wrestle with depression."

I'm not downplaying legitimate depression or the people who truly wrestle with it but, how much of it is drummed up in our own minds? How much of it comes from focusing on our own sin instead of the Glory and Person of Christ, the power of the Cross, and the joy of the story of the Gospel? Could it be that many of us wallow in our depression and guilt, twist our faces in public and secretly try to claim piety and justification for our sad state of mind by referencing some of the greatest men of the faith who struggled with being downcast? Yes, men like Spurgeon, Edwards, Calvin, and others were mightily by God, but they were men at best (1 Cor 15:10). Any joy and comfort they received in their dark days is due to the same grace and very same Gospel given to all of God's people--past and present.

Depression is not a good, happy place. For many, melancholy, doubt and extreme guilt are daily thorns that saints fight to pry out until their death. For others, depression may be something that's "self-inflicted" and in need of some repentance. Be a blessing to the family of God and spend focused time hunting for manifestations of God's grace in the lives of your brothers and sisters in Jesus and celebrate them together! (Acts 11:23)  Invite others to do the same for you. Jesus did not die for sin to be meditated upon, He died so it could be recognized and repented of for the glory of the Gospel and the joy of His people.

Helpful reading on this topic:

You Can Change by Tim Chester

What is the Gospel by Greg Gilbert

A Lifting Up For The Downcast by William Bridge

Spiritual Depression by Martin Lloyd-Jones

Atonement: a working windex for my conscience

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us. (1 John 3:19-24)

There are days when my convictions feel like massive weights covering my chest; or like an annoying tapping sound that I can't shake. It interrupts my meals, my quiet time, my drive to work, that small window of time that dwindles away just before I drift off to sleep at night, and it's there to greet me when I wake up in the morning. These are bitter sweet times for me. Bitter because my heart condemns me and the taste of sin is horrible, but sweet because that weight I have is not a bad thing. It is a gift.
The gift is two fold:

1) Conviction is a gift from God-it pushes me (us) to the cross. For me (the believer), there is no other place to go. Anywhere else just adds to my already paining frustration. Conviction is there to remind of my condition and my need for Jesus and His atoning work at the cross. If I respond to my convictions they force me to see The Father's grace in His Son Christ. My sins absolved! Baffling (Ez 16:62-63). Biblical conviction shows me that God is still present and working in my life (Heb 12:6). So, while I am dour, I am thankful and glad.

2) A clean conscience gives me boldness before God when I pray and open my Bible. I look at my conscience like a window; if I don't get it clean then there are times when I'm not able to read, pray or really enjoy fellowship. Even when my wrong is "minor" or if I'm uncertain as to whether or not I've sinned at all (Ps 19:12-14;Jer 17:9) I have to get it clean. Sometimes it can seem ridiculous to others why I'd have to get something like that off of my chest but, I have to (Ps 41:4; 51:4). My sleep depends on it.

boldness in the face of everything opposite: encouraged again by my giant predecessor jonathan edwards

"Resolution One: I will live for God. 

Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will."

- Jonathan Edwards

hope in the face of "life"

i recently had the opportunity to preach on hope (1 pet 1:1-8,13). it us always a fearful task and privilege to preach, and at times, it's an even bigger joy to prepare. there is conviction, joy, worship, digging and discovery of Godly jewels (ps 19:7-10).

making decisions that have "HOPE IN GOD" written all over them.

that was one of my points and probably the one i was most challenged by during my preperation.

how can my wife and i make decisions, as a unit/community/ministry, that have "HOPE IN GOD" written all over them? even in the little, everyday things that don't require us to leave the house, how can we stamp, "my hope is not found here but with Him" on all that we do? 

"I'd rather not wash these dishes or scoop out this cat poop, but. . .my hope is in the fact that one day I will be with Him and cat poop and dishes pale in comparison to that glorious day so. . .i'll scoop the poop and i'll be hopeful while doing it!"

sounds simple and almost trivial but at times, that's how i try to flesh out my present and future hope of glory. we're called to glorify God and give Him thanks in all that we do (1 cor 10:31; col 3:17); being thankful and looking forward to Glory while carrying out our everyday things is how it works. here's an example:

my wouldn't start the other day. consequently i was going to be late for work so i made a phone call to let my superior know. i hooked the jumper cables to my car and without knowing (my battery isn't marked) i reversed the polarity and melted my cables. . .ahhhhggggghhhh! luckily there was a man in the parking lot who gave me a jump and soon i was on my way to work.

now, i enjoy listening to the radio on my way to work but, when i screwed up the jumper cables i must've shorted a fuse. . .the fuse to my radio. i drove to work in silence. i paused and said, "okay, why did i go through all that? was it to have my radio short? where is the thankfulness in this situation soul? luckily i had my fighter verse next to me (duet 7:8) and then it hit me, "i can memorize my fighter verse at the lights and recite aloud on the way to work! there it is!!!"

by God's grace, i had a hopeful and thankful ride to work.

press on and continue to lean on the hope that is set before us.

rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer - rom 12:12

 

How illogical,
this is simply laughable:

that Captain, my Captain
would call his fighters
to the field
to fight a force that doesn’t yield

to fight their flames
and all His fighters hold
are swords and shields

How cruel!

this can’t be fighting
fought with rules
or ethics,

when under all their armor,
all his fighters all are peasants
fighting trickery and lies,
pretty ladies eyes,
money, fame and cheating smiles

How mean!

this can’t be a fair fight
on top of that they fight
at night!

Of all the times to fight this fight
Against their cruel and snarling opponent

At night!

this isn’t fair!
this isn’t right!

but then again,
amidst my gall
I think of how my Captain
was born in a city—
small
in a haven far from that of heaven’s walls
grew up like a root,
lived among his fighters
walked and wept
ate, perspired
tired

until one day
evil men came with primitive lighters
and orders
to kill Him

arrayed in blame
and
Crushed!

for all his peasant would-be fighters
He fought and conquered

armed His men with swords and shields
called them to the field
to shame the giants with their fancy gadgets of allure

and the peasants wearing all their armor
leaning on my Captain

we were never called to a fair fight

sovereignty, sanity and humility

First, then, let them remember that when they inquire into predestination they are penetrating the sacred precints of divine wisdom. If anyone with carefree assurance breaks into this place, he will not succeed in satisfying his curiosity and he will enter a labyrinth from which he can find no exit. - John Calvin

Consider this, if God let everyone decide on their own whether to believe on Jesus or not, NO ONE WOULD! We must be careful not to delve too far into what God has not revealed to us. Doing so may make one crazy. - Thomas R. Thompson

on the thing(s) that can't come back

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Eph 5:15-17)

There things we squander, many times not realizing that they are not recoverable once they're lost; and consequently, once the Light has dawned and we do realize it, it's probably too late.
Whenever we fritter these irretrievable things away we've in the process, defecated on the gift of time.

I've been convicted, and am currently convicted of the fact that whenever we sin, we've not only that specific sin to repent of but the sin of wasting God's gift of time. it actually causes me to cringe-thinking back on all the times i've wasted time. shouldn't it though?

i don't write this to be a rain cloud on the readers parade but instead, i write it as a reminder for myself and whoever decides to read this-think carefully about what you're about to do with the time in front of you. everyday presents itself with time. this time is filled with people (i think of my wife), places to be, deadlines to meet, necessities to be tended to etc. . .
our use of time affects those things as well. we especially can never get back the wasted time that may have inadvertently impacted the life of someone else (negatively or positively).

be reminded that as we steward the things around us we are, inescapably stewarding our time.

"eternity hangs on what you (we) do with time. . ." - t.brindle